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(c) 2019 John Hoare. Anything shamelessly ripped off kindly reused here from anywhere else is copyright of its original owner, or something like that.

And before you ask, yes. This website is meant to look cheesy and 1990s-esque. That's the charm/downside of using a software from 1998 to make a website.

Also, beware. You are entering the domain of an insane manchild who uses the intenet way too much. Take caution and bring some popcorn or something, I don't know. I'm not your dad.

...

...or am I?